A life of Lies

My alma mater’s Old Boys Association recently formed a BB group. This was the brain child of one of our members in Lagos.  Most members have been flung far and wide by their search for the Golden Fleece and participation in the association’s meetings waned over the years. Members in Lagos have been able to hold just one meeting since I relocated to Lagos in 2007.Now, irrespective of the fact that we were all happy seeing each other after many years during that meeting and had promised to be meeting regularly, we have not been able to keep that promise.  It was therefore very exciting to be able to reach out to so many childhood friends currently in different parts of the world and hold virtual meetings at will.

The first few days involved a lot of catching up on everybody, what we did and where we were. We even found out those that had passed on that we didn’t know about and dedicated a chat room to their memory. We threw jabs at each other, remembering the best times of our lives, when we had no worries and how we had shared it together. The feeling in the group was electric with excitement and consequently, everybody was inviting every old boy he had in his contact. This was not something one should experience alone. It was worth sharing- as if we were reliving the part of our lives with our fondest childhood memories.

It was therefore surprising when some people declined the invitation for different reasons but we respected their positions. It was however shocking when one person said he did not attend my alma mater. This is someone we all know very well, most people remember his name and surname. He now claims to have attended FGC. I think he probably went to rewrite his SSCE there, otherwise I don’t see the connection with FGC. How can someone lie about his past to people who shared that past with him? If someone can tell such blatant lies, it is scary to imagine what he can say to people who don’t know him at all.

It is also arguable that in those days, my alma mater was better than FGC and the few private schools then were second class. So, I wonder whether it is an issue of complex that is making him now claim a history he does not have. I tried to understand why someone would tell such an unintelligent lie, and then recalled some lies in the past that also didn’t make sense and there was absolutely no need for.

A girl once told me that she doesn’t eat overnight bread (she eats bread that was made same day). I wondered whether their house had been a bakery while she was growing up as most people grew up buying bread in the evening/night for breakfast in the morning before running off to school. The sad part was that I saw half a loaf of bread in her fridge months down the line. I asked when she bought it, obviously forgetting what she had told me months ago, she said it was two days earlier. I just shook my head and kept mum.

Also, I once went out with my friends and one of them came with a girl. When we offered her a drink, she asked for red wine. For the sake of conversation, one of my friends asked her what else she drank in case she goeswhere there was no red wine and her answer was champagne. Of course the next question was, “for how long now?” She said that she used to sip from her dad’s glass as a kid and these were the only things he drank. So the friend that came with her asked her whether she could drink a bottle as the guys were doing spirit. She answered in the affirmative. So a bottle was brought for her and to prove that it was a piece of cake to her, she drank all of it. It was obvious that she struggled. She was practically carried from the car into the house as she literally passed out in the car. She slept from 11pm until afternoon of the next day and woke up shame faced. The next time we all went out, someone tried to order red wine for her, she declined and said she wanted Smirnoff Ice instead.

A friend once met a girl who spoke as if she came back from London yesterday after spending all her life there. She kept going on about how she visits her Aunt in London, Uncle in Germany etc. After a few outings together and on this occasion, she was already tipsy, someone asked what part of London she stays any time she travelled and she said she had never been to London.

We have heard of people who denied their parents in public, people claiming to be what they are not, etc. Reflecting on these made me ask the question, why do people tell lies? Below are some of the reasons I could come up with. People tell lies:

• To impress,
• To save face,
• To shift blame,
• To avoid confrontation,
• To get one’s way,
• To be nice,
• To make one’s self feel better.

It is clear that the examples I cited above were mainly to impress and this seems to be the most common reason for adults. However, this does not make sense when applied to the case of the classmate that denied attending our alma mater. I am therefore inclined to think that he is a pathological liar. These people tell lies to the point that they believe their own lies.  What I am not sure of, is whether this problem also comes with stupidity.

Cheers.

April 5th, 2014